Why do I keep having to go through this? How did that happen to me again? Why do I have to be in a situation where I am clearly not comfortable? I have to go through this again I will lose hope and I will give up…
What we often fail to see is the fact that God has only put you in more of the situations and with patience and if you are armed with the Faith in the Lord you will be also given the tools to succeed in these moments. As for myself I have often felt as though God was punishing me, which isn’t the case. How I would like to understand it is that God brings as many learning moments to us as we need to understand many things as we need to learn. The one constant is the He is there, waiting for you.
In my understanding the number one thing is that God wants us to have is faith in Him through our love for Him. He wants us to trust Him in that he will bring us through a time when nothing, or nothing else will. The last thing He wants is for you to hold onto to something, or someone that you will put more faith in Him than Him. God wants us to have faith in Him, so that He will bring us through the storm. He wants closeness, a bond and a relationship. Faith, trust and relationship are tops on His priority list to get through your walk in Faith, We know that storms in the seasons of despair occur, but he is there regardless if for nothing else to comfort us.
I think people become doubtful that God can comfort us, at least unbelievers have an extremely hard time understanding this. Through prayer, worship and the word we have so many ways to feel comforted. In the time when I felt most alone in my life as a Christian, it has been the moments when I have as though Jesus was actually with me and when I felt the most loved. How can we feel the closest to God when we at our worst? I will choose to know it is one of those ironic truths with which Christians are presented, like you have to lose your life in order to gain it.
God even knows that we can feel as though he has turned his face from us, it happens to many. In Psalm 13, the Psalmist asks openly how long God will turn his face? This is the opening line in the Psalm, this is God’s book and one of the most often read books in the Bible. God knows we have frustration, He understands that and he can handle it. He is the almighty, he has the strength to endure a little human frustration.
1 How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? 3 Look on me and answer, LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, 4 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. 5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6 I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me. – Psalm 13
He uses that moment of frustration because like a good Father he loves you just as much when you return to him as when you came to Him in the first place. God never stops looking for you in the storm, in the darkness, in the alley, in your moment where you actually don’t want God to see you. Tough luck on that, he is there and He will always be, He will find you and love you, even when you don’t want to be loved or found.
In my darkest moments Jesus allowed me to see clearly that I wasn’t living how He wanted. In those moments when I wasn’t in a place to be led, step-by-step I walked out of the darkness, with Him. I began to pray how I was meant and with a mind that was clear.
Step by step I walked out, the world’s circumstances don’t stop. You reap what you sow, it takes time to show God that you are indeed not just faithful to Him, but faithful to his lessons and word. It is the pain we endure of that broken ‘spiritual femur’, it is indeed still painful long after the healing has started. He is good, trust that. Love that, know that He is good.