Elliot D. Cohen Ph.D. in June of 2012 by Psychology Today stated: “The blame game consists of blaming another person for an event or state of affairs thought to be undesirable, and persisting in it instead of proactively making changes that ameliorate the situation.”
There are a couple things going on in this malevolence. I use that word aptly. When we fail to acknowledge our part in the place that is between two parties; be it in a marriage, professional relationship, or a leadership role, then we fail, and if we don’t it was a happy accident. When we do not do our duty to understand our role in how not only how something is executed, but as well objectively viewed, then it is sour, and an unfit idea, or union.
Consider instead more ideas, consider how you view of yourself, and as well the receiver of the message and how it will be heard, and in turn react, or respond. We are all in more need of responses than reactions. If we do not consider the outcomes we will then begin to blame the receiver of the message. This is not effective leadership.
Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” – Genesis 3:12 NKJV
Was Adam blame shifting when he blamed God, not Eve for the newfound troubles in his life? It was in fact God who undeniably formed Eve from Adam’s rib, because God did not want Adam to be alone. Adam becomes the first person to blame God, or at least someone else for a problem in his or her lives.
At our core many of us conceive ourselves to be perfect, possibly rightly so. We are born again in the spirit which emanates outward, a new creation. Generally, if we begin to remove options from our life or never had them in the first place it is much easier to have the unseen, perilous choices that will be made, whether we want them to be made, or not. It is only those who live with pain staking detail to keep out the unclean, and damaged from their lives, which are strikingly placid at first, and twisted later due to the fact, their unfettered lives were not yet ready to deal with the stress that will be introduced that is a part of all life. That may be many more of us than we are open to talk about, clearly by the news of the day about AR-15 wielding kids, when most people would rather watch track and field events.
We have all been through harrowing experiences, things that each of has seen, dealt with, and subjected to are considerably more formative than we would like them to be.
To fix the problem, pretend the problem isn’t there, clean the problem, and make it look it pretty, or step right on over that nasty problem. Unfortunately for this country and the overall psyche as patriarchal society dictates, we don’t even care to assess the damage at this point, rather than start actually breaking down the issue. “It is not my kids, not my uncles kids, maybe be it’ll be that weird couple at the end of the street who deal with it.” It’s not even about the school shootings, not even the messed up weather, not even about me having too much free time like so many Americans who can’t sleep, but in some self-denying apathy choose to walk out the door to check out the new film by J.J. Abrams.
Men wake up. The battle is at our doorstep; it is coming to you, not a Dad yet? Not your problem, wait until it is, because it will be. You will have to answer a question to someone whom you will influence. Guys, we are just getting RPM’s up on this Christine film of problems that just rebuild themselves and get worse. We are not getting off the hook.
Money cannot but love, our success is not tied to the money you make, the home, or the any of that; love comes from helping others in a mandated context that Jesus has sent us on an undeniable mission to perform. Money can by pleasure maybe, but not love, and that is skin deep. That is not what you are about, is it? We have the choice as men to take the chance quit scrolling and strolling, but instead to care enough about so many issues and so many tangible ways to get the word spread, not just through social media. Then what to do, how can I change to status quo?
First Pray. Pray about the ways God can use you and your abilities to change something. When you are doing right, and you are praying about what God wants you to do and then you do it, then it will in fact be spirit at some point successful at changing lives. That is why we doing this thing called life? “Life it means forever…” and it does means forever.
People, if we step out of the boat, and walk by faith that we do have the power to change then we will make a change. The first step however is you. You will never have the courage to make a change in your life or the life of others until you scratch the surface of pride. I know because I’m just getting started. My iceberg of pride could bring down the Titanic and the Lusitania and have plenty of ice leftover for drinks. Pride is the reason you don’t want to help those less fortunate than you. If you fail to help them your pride will be crushed because of your wisdom, instead of God’s infinite wisdom, went awry, you could not help. And when you couldn’t help someone you were forced to deal head on with your pride of not be the saver, the fixer. Here is the thing: if you step out God will direct you, he will put you in a place to succeed and leave an indelible mark on the not just people, but also the monster what you choose to battle.
I am convinced as a parishioner, the reason Pastors and other amazing servants are truly special is because they have failed enough, only to see God put it right, which generates humility. Starting out on a mission as humble people and then work towards truly living out the mandate, and to lift people from true pain and suffering; that is truly heaven sent. When you step out of the boat to help others I guarantee God will begin the work to right the wrongs in your life and give you a place in his Kingdom, which is undeniably the best place to inhabit. He will do his work in you to attack the inequities and strongholds in your life. I am not saying it will be an ‘if-then’ formula, but there is truly something so rich in the mercy of God when we spread or own version grace and mercy upon those who cannot repay this, but only pay it forward. This is why we do it.
Deal with our pride to lift others from their pain; be courageous in our salvation run into the fire to right the wrongs. Do whatever you can to help people. Dad jokes are funny; knowing you loved on someone enough to lift them even momentarily from darkness is better. Cheeseburgers with a view make great posts; people eating them with a new outlook on life because you took the first step, which writes screenplays. Many books, films, and TV shows have been filled with the legacy ending of many men who have changed their hometown, then outward. What do we want our legacy ending to be?