Dealing with the pain of suffering is better than attempting to transcend the pain itself through exterior means if means you are going to sabotage your success by doing so. The pain of being human is real, and cannot be avoided even by being Christian and loving the Lord. Paul suffered to no end until he was beheaded at the end of his mission, and he was among the most enlightened people of all time.
Paul knew he would be hamstrung by his sin and pain if he did not have his mission to move him forward. Obviously his divine moment of being blinded for three days was enough to push him past feeling bad for his crimes as a Pharisee and move into the greatest Christian writer of all time. For that we are given Romans 8 which allows us to love who we are in Christ while at the same time accepting our failings as people, detailed in Romans 7:21-25.
The pain of understanding that people are not always fair, honest, and good to people who are living an unfortunate reality does not license anyone to gather stones and use an arsenal of any internally driven based knowledge to attack others. It is the opposite of being a Christian. We all have a person who we are not proud of in all of us. Our inner-self is not unlike the cousin at Thanksgiving we wish wasn’t there. We acknowledge him, and should strive to understand who he is who he is rather than take all the mashed potatoes before he has a shot at them.
If we do not acknowledge the ugliness of our inner being, without seeking an understanding of the pain, then we have missed the boat. At the same time it is useless to over indulge on the pain of that that is our inner self which is when self-absorption leads to paralysis by analysis as it is known. Move past the inner ugliness, if no-one is paying attention anymore then that should be your go to move to make the next half of your life be the best half of your life. Enjoy the grey areas of your life and then beauty of letting your hair go grey.
Knowing the ‘whys’ of our pain is easy to accept, however moving past the emotions that connect us with the acceptance of that pain is another. Once we allow ourselves to accept the responsibility that that are many things in life we need to accomplish, i.e., paying the bills and writing the reports, then we move toward doing our best to accomplish these tasks as best possible.
As it hard as it may be to realize, there is a lot of value to a person’s self-esteem and awareness of who we are to ‘do the dishes’ of life and move past our feelings that makes us feel stuck by having to do them. Love your role, it is who you are.
If we then move past our feelings and accept who we are as damaged but also alive to be happy, rear children, tag a wall, write code, and yes, do the dishes we can move towards a purpose that allows us to shut our lights off and not attempt to calm pain or fight through a haze we used to even get our heads on the pillow.
A night of radiant, peaceful sleep is worth more than money spent on any therapist or any vacation will allow. The moment we realize our brokenness is what allows the ability to know we are not perfect, is the moment we walk in forgiveness of ourselves or any moment which put a name on who we were. We are who we are as much as it painful to admit it; at that moment life really has the chance to get great again.