As children, we learn messages that are not ours to know. This happens usually without reason and usually unknowingly to children without our knowledge or can happen through indifference or abuse.
This gives way to the need for affirmation, however we can falsely achieve it. When affirmation isn’t achieved it creates a need for more that only masks our problems more. We become needful of anything to serve this lack of love, anything.
This need jeopardizes relationships and ultimately will serve us to be something we were never meant to be.
Enter pride, or false pride however one would call it, and the need to fill a place that will never be affirmed by any of our parents. In most cases earthly parents simply aren’t capable of filling a void that only God can give.
The need for anything outside of ourselves can be a need for a perfect body image, sexual brokenness, gambling, gaming addiction, substance addiction, greed, harming yourself or harming others for self-gratification are only symptoms that are a lack of of life that we cannot overcome on our own.
For example, a person who uses pornography without remorse; they will graduate into cheating, and possibly most likely something far worse.
Perpetrators were always victims first.
These are the parts of our lives that do not allow us to grow and hurts others is only a need to fill the original void of abuse, negligence or a lack of affirmation.
But you are loved. God loves you like no parent, or idol ever could. He is right next to us, guiding our every move to each signal or obstacle to point us in a direction help us realize that we are made to love one another, but he wants only to love us, so that you may know his heart and so the need for anything else can be seen as the counterfeit that it is.
Accepting God’s love is perfect because no father on this planet can compare to what Jesus, who is the ultimate father, can give you like nothing else, but peace. It may take years, or longer to learn his love, or not. However, the experience of God loving you in those quiet moments when it is just He and you, can never compare to any one thing on this planet.
He completes us, and creates a new vessel, so that we may love others as we love ourselves. People don’t complete, nor does a church filled with broken people, but it is a start that if handled with care can shape a community or a core family that may help us learn anything new.
Nothing written here is anything that hasn’t been true since we began toiling in this world, and written similarly before. It isn’t even wisdom.
“The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still.” – Exodus 14:14
“Help me to love with open arms, like You do
A love that erases all the lines and sees the truth
Oh that when they look in my eyes, they would see You
Even in just a smile they would feel the Father’s love”
⁃ Jenn Johnson, For the One