When a man, in the world’s view, is viewed as strong he has everything put together. His clothing, his home, his finances and his relationships. It stays in this order as viewed by the objective world.
When a man, in the kingdom culture, has his life together there are more things to align and the roles are reversed. First is the relationship with God, his relationship with his family and primarily his wife. Then it is the view on how he sees his friends and relationships in his place of worship, his work life, financial and other ancillary items like play. While there are more things to line up there is one way to deal with it, and that is using kingdom culture and a lifestyle based in integrity to manage these items.
The problem is the same sides of life. That is how we view vulnerability. If a man shows his vulnerability and shows that he has failed, in both cultures he may be mocked and set aside as untrustworthy. But anyone can tell you as therapist and researcher in shame, Brené Brown also says, science and life teaches is that the only way to find success most of the the time is through failure. The rest are happy accidents which are still not part of a vision.
So the path of success for most men is through failure, and instead most men find failure first and after seeking correction and find that correct path in the ventures, creations, and their personal life are only given comeuppance once the mountain has been climbed.
In our society, no matter if it is kingdom culture of the secular world vulnerability through lens of the objective usually shows that one is trying which opens us up to judgement, thievery of ideas and betrayal. What’s worse is people are often not given credit for reaching a milestone once achieving a set upon goal.
So what of it? How are we as men to achieve success in a transparent manner when attempting to transcend or build?
Often, the people who are only successful are those that work behind the scenes with no words, no help, no added prayer from friends, coworkers or leaders. We are left to toil on on an island of one, save a spouse or a trusted confidant or accountability partner.
If we fall off our steed in the heat of battle then we jump on our sword, or grab our shield until the archers are out of arrows.
In all honesty, I don’t have an answer about being vulnerable in this world.
To be sure being vulnerable is not very popular. No one cares, and frankly it looks bad to most people if you have feelings that you allow to be visible. I’m a pretty unpopular person and I figure if I cut across the grain enough and as well use another more simple cliché, is that I am more concerned if I were to take the road more traveled.
I will choose vulnerability. I will choose to be a person who exposes himself to the world instead of using conventional wisdom as conviction of the heart. It is more important than conventional ways of living that convict the wallet, or even the reputation of a man who will allow himself a weakness. I will choose to be weak, “…because when I am weak, he is strong.”
– 2 Cor. 12:10
My vulnerability may not be a path to riches. What my vulnerability is instead, is a latter path to success, a path that comes later and greater. I again do not speak of worldly success, but the success that allows me congruence in life, nature and a willingness to walk that path one step a time. I will not expect 100% of myself only to reach 90% and spend more energy beating myself up with the help of those who seek answers through watching others twist in the wind.
An ability to let your guard down and not maintain a false understanding of how you see yourself and others is the easiest thing in the world to do.
You only have to understand the value of maintaining a wall, or a bank of shame and quit dealing in a currency of this shame by being honest with your friends, family and most importantly yourself and the Spirit – but in reverse order. The worthless currency of shame will most likely buy you a world of regret and a life of loneliness.
Wake up to the reality that being real and exposing a weakness the next time you are called to do an icebreaker might reveal more about your character than any tale of the last vacation that ended in alleged bliss among “the indigenous tribes of wherever…”