“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Galatians 1:10 NIV
When Christians destroy themselves, like I did for wanting approval from others, and doing anything to get it. I would encourage them first to be kind to themselves. We’re only walking this out one step of illumination at a time. We are human. That’s first. Understand that what people who seek approval do it because they did not receive the basic safety and or validation from a parent. It is better to choose the reality that we are walking off the chains of being tied to a need for basic human needs.
We come to know God, He is our healer, comforter and provider. Nothing we can do will ever make us more – anything – everything we are to this point is put us in a place to move past the pain and into a place of forgiveness and compassion for others and yourself. When we realize God will provide us with identity when we are prepared to receive it, then it’s time to work even harder to make the right decisions. Eventually it’s going to be us or that person we have mistakenly put in power over us will pass and we be given power over ourselves or we will die. Grim reality.
Our earthly Dad does and did not simply have the capacity to love us like God does. It is best not to treat each relationship we have with the same need for validation that we searched for from the parent who failed to provide much of anything on our own hierarchy of needs.
We cannot hold a grudge against anyone, especially God for this. We can work through it by letting ourselves – and God off the hook for just being when we were in a place when we could not defend ourselves. Wrong place, wrong time.
Or was it the right place, right time – so we can be a person that conquers the junk, the phony, the pride – so you don’t have to give a red cent about any approval from any earthly person, because in the end as Mother Theresa would say it’s really between us and God. So Forgive them anyway. While we are at it, let’s remember we are human, on a journey to examine and understand ourselves so we may help this world be a better place. Get the job because it will actually make you happy. Marry her because you love her, for no other reason. God actually cares about your happiness. When you are happy you are stronger for what you need for endurance of finishing the race strong. It’s not how we start…
But here’s even better news: we can accept that it happened and move the heck on. We take responsibility for the our actions, not in the past, but in the future. If we pray and make conscious decisions about our next decision, we will choose good things. The kind of good things that are harder, but better. The good life is harder, but it’s so worth the time, the sweat and tears. “Get busy living or get busy dying.” – Andy, The Shawshank Redemption